I am on deployment,
Stuck on a huge ship out in the
middle of the ocean some where,
Feeling so many feelings,
start to feel depressed,
Try to reach out to SAVI to talk,
Told that she did not care,
And that I was lying,
I was just needing someone to listen,
Someone to be there,
Feeling alone, depressed, suicidal,
There is no one to talk to,
No one that cares,
Chain of command that calls me a liar,
Cry myself to sleep at night when in rack,
I need to talk to someone,
But I will not talk to a male about
What happened to me at A school.
Try again to reach out to another SAVI
But told by her to go away,
She does not care.
The trained SAVI’s that are supposed to
Care do not care.
Start to feel even more alone and depressed,
Pick up lighter for the first time and burn my arm
Self hatred, suicidal, alone, depressed,
No one to talk to!!
I learned to never reach out to chain of command,
and I will never reach out to SAVI’s again.
All I am asking for is someone to be there,
to just listen,
For someone to tell me they believe me,
Do not want them to do anything,
Just want them to listen,
To be a shoulder to cry on.