About three weeks ago, I went to the VA hospital for the second time in a long time. I was told that I needed to be there two hours before my appointment to get blood drawn. I went to the lab to have blood drawn. I started crying when my blood was drawn. What had happened was that triggered memories inside of me.
Next I went to the women’s health clinic, used the kiosk to check in and waited to be seen. The nurse called me back. She asked me why I was there, took my blood pressure that was through the roof like it is every time I go to the VA. Then she asked me if I was there for my annual exam. No, I was there to get my ankle checked out. I went back out and sat in the waiting room. While I was waiting, there were three other veterans that started talking. They got called back to there appointments and while I was sitting in the waiting room two men came walking through. One was a African American in a police uniform and that triggered memories inside of me. Then an older man came in and delivered something to the front desk. I got very triggered and ended up leaving before I ever saw the nurse practitioner.
The Women’s Health Clinic is a women’s health clinic and there should not be men walking through that part of the hospital. I will not be going back to the VA. I have told them over and over again how going there triggers memories of what happened on the ship I was on, what the chain of command did and did not do, and every time my PTS is triggered severely. I know that I served my country but this is no longer worth it to me. I do not feel heard, believed, cared about, and unworthy. Also, I do not feel that the staff cares about women veterans.