Finding My Voice

Finding my voice to tell my story,

At first terrified to tell my truth

So I remain quiet and turn the pain on myself

I try many ways to cope with what happened to me,

I find a therapist that tells me that I am safe,

That she is there for me and believes me,

That I can trust her and that she is there for me,

I start to tell my story and begin to find my voice,

I am saying the words and

I hear my voice but it is shaking,

I hear the words coming out of my mouth

I feel myself dissociating from myself as I tell my story,

She tells me that it is not my fault,

My therapist asks me what do I feel, what do I hear,

What do I see, What do I smell, and she asks me to

take some deep breaths,

She tells me that it is okay to cry and she

Wants me to stay connected to what I am feeling

To feel the feelings that I am having,

To stay in the conversation and not to go away.

Each time I tell my story I am taking my

Power back and get a little bit stronger

Each time I tell my story I putting the

Shame where it belongs

Each time I tell my story I am advocating

For myself

Each time I tell my story I am advocating for

Those that are not able to speak

Each time I find my voice and tell what happened

When I was eleven; I am breaking the silence

And telling what he did to me

Each time I find my voice and tell what happened

At UC, I am bringing attention to how University

Of Cincinnati protected two rapists.

Each time I find my voice I am bringing

Attention to how the chain of command

Does nothing about rape

Each time I tell my story and find my voice

I am healing myself and helping another

Person to heal.

Each time I tell my story my voice gets

Stronger and stronger.

Each time I tell my story I am returning to

Myself

 

 

Author: shellback0608

Julie "Jewels" is an Author, Poet, Nia Blue Belt, Green Belt, White Belt dance instructor, Reiki Jin Kei Do Energy Healer, and advocate. When she is not writing, you can find her learning new Nia routines, listening to healing music, taking photographs, playing with her dog and spending time with her friends and family.

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