The pain is constantly there,
Why can’t you just leave me alone?
Stop bothering me and go away?
Chronic pain takes over my left ankle and right knee,
I want to escape from the pain, triggers, and reminders,
Of all of trauma and pain that I have been through
The pain is agony that feels every part of being,
I feel all of the pain from the trauma’s I have been through,
The pain reminds me of the surgery that I had on my ankle,
The pain reminds me of the trauma that happened at
University of Cincinnati
The pain in my knee reminds me of the trauma of being abused,
And how the chain of command did nothing about my knee
For two years.
The pain reminds me of the surgery that was done to fix
What the chain of command said did not exist.
Through therapy have discovered that the chronic pain is emotional
And psychological in nature and those places
Hold the memories from the trauma’s I have been through
Anxiety, anger, grief comes to the surface,
Flashbacks, nightmares happen
I feel the grief from what was taken away from me
I look for solutions for this chronic pain,
If I am going to have to live with every day,
Start going to Nia, somatic psychotherapy, Reiki Jin Kei Do,
And talk therapy
I allow myself to express the feelings that
Need to come out.
I learn techniques to help me get through this,
I find joy, laughter, and love my body.
I start touching those parts of my body that are screaming at me,
I tell those parts of my body that I hear them and they have my attention,
I understand that the trauma is held there
I will continue to listen to my body and
do whatever I need to do in order to heal the pain.