The Pain is Constantly There

The pain is constantly there in my left ankle, right knee and small of my back,

It never stops and reminds me

Of all of the pain that I have been through

It makes me feel all of the pain from being abused,

It reminds me of the surgery that I had on my ankle,

It reminds me of the trauma that happened at the same time,

My knee reminds me of the fights that I had

With my chain of command and how they did

Nothing for two years.

 

Have figured out that it is emotional,

Psychological in nature and those places

Hold the memories from the abuse I have been through

Anxiety, anger, grief comes to the surface,

Flashbacks, nightmares happen,

I feel like it is happening all over again,

I feel the grief from what was taken away from me

 

I look for solutions for this pain,

If I am going to have to live with every day,

Start going to Nia, somatic psychotherapy, Reiki Jin Kei Do,

And talk therapy

 

I allow myself to express the feelings that

Need to come out.

I learn techniques to help me get through this,

I find joy, laughter, and start to love my body.

I start touching those parts of my body and

Tell them that I understand that the trauma is

Held there

I continue to do what I can to self-heal.

That I will continue to do whatever I need to do

In order to heal the pain.

Author: shellback0608

Julie "Jewels" is an Author, Poet, Nia Blue Belt, Green Belt, White Belt dance instructor, Reiki Jin Kei Do Energy Healer, and advocate. When she is not writing, you can find her learning new Nia routines, listening to healing music, taking photographs, playing with her dog and spending time with her friends and family.

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