The pain is constantly there in my left ankle, right knee and small of my back,
It never stops and reminds me
Of all of the pain that I have been through
It makes me feel all of the pain from being abused,
It reminds me of the surgery that I had on my ankle,
It reminds me of the trauma that happened at the same time,
My knee reminds me of the fights that I had
With my chain of command and how they did
Nothing for two years.
Have figured out that it is emotional,
Psychological in nature and those places
Hold the memories from the abuse I have been through
Anxiety, anger, grief comes to the surface,
Flashbacks, nightmares happen,
I feel like it is happening all over again,
I feel the grief from what was taken away from me
I look for solutions for this pain,
If I am going to have to live with every day,
Start going to Nia, somatic psychotherapy, Reiki Jin Kei Do,
And talk therapy
I allow myself to express the feelings that
Need to come out.
I learn techniques to help me get through this,
I find joy, laughter, and start to love my body.
I start touching those parts of my body and
Tell them that I understand that the trauma is
I continue to do what I can to self-heal.
That I will continue to do whatever I need to do
In order to heal the pain.