Enraging behavior today

I am going to put this as politely as I can. Today on Twitter some idiot said that I am a proud survivor. One, I am not a proud survivor. Two, I am not proud that I was raped six times. Three, I was not born to be raped. Four, I did go to the University of Cincinnati to be raped. Five, I did not enlist in the Navy to be raped. Six, I have never wanted to be raped. Seven, I never wanted any of this. Eight, no one asks to be raped and I sure in hell did not ask to be raped. Nine, I never wanted to have to live with Post Traumatic Stress. Ten, I never wanted to deal flashbacks, nightmares, being afraid, losing jobs because of PTS, not being able to sleep, wanting nothing to do with being a woman, and always looking over my shoulder because I am afraid that they will find me and rape me again. Eleven, I have not wanted to deal with chronic pain because my body holds the trauma in places because of what happened to me.

I am pissed off. I deleted my account. I am thinking about deleting my facebook account. For someone to say that I am a proud survivor is just wrong. I write this blog to tell my story. I write my poetry to tell my truth.  I write this blog so other survivors know that they are not alone.  I am freaking enraged and what this idiot said today really hurts. It is just like the shit that the chain of command did. Do not worry. I will not be creating any more videos or sharing any more poetry. I am so sick of this shit.

Author: shellback0608

Julie "Jewels" is an Author, Poet, Nia Blue Belt, Green Belt, White Belt dance instructor, Reiki Jin Kei Do Energy Healer, and advocate. When she is not writing, you can find her learning new Nia routines, listening to healing music, taking photographs, playing with her dog and spending time with her friends and family.

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