Was at counseling appointment,
Therapist looked at me and told me to
Stop writing my poetry and not to talk about
Writing my poetry is the way
I get out what I am feeling,
I am not good at talking about what happened,
I immediately left my body and shutdown,
I came home, got my blanket, turned on calming music
And started crying.
When therapist said that to me, I immediately heard
What Ryan said to me,
What my mom said to me,
What the two guys at UC said to me,
What the police officer said to me,
What Josh said to me,
What Damon said to me,
What chain of command said to me,
What NCIS said to me,
I went to bed early,
Cried myself to sleep.
I am still feeling distant, detached from myself,
I do not want to talk to any one.
Afraid to say anything anymore.
Will not be reaching out anymore.