This is the first time in a long time that I have wrote about this. I graduated from high school in 1997 and went to the University of Cincinnati. I went there because I wanted to be far from home and I was trying to escape myself. I did not realize that where ever I went, there I was.
I lived in a Coed Dorm called Daniel’s Hall. Usually on the weekend, I would go home but this one weekend I decided to stay on campus over the weekend. It was October 17, 1997. I had three other roommates and that night we all started partying. It was the first time that I drank. We were drinking Kentucky vodka and Hawaiian punch. I started to get drunk and started to talk to people easier. My roommates introduced me to this black man. He started talking to me and I started talking to him.
During the evening my roommates disappeared and I was told that they went down to the first floor. I got in the elevator and went down to the room that I was told my roommates were at. I knocked on the door and the guy that was up in my dorm room answered the door. I asked him, if my roommates were there. He told me that they were not but invited me inside. I walked in the room and there was another guy sitting on the sofa. They asked me to sit on the sofa. The next thing I knew they were touching me, took off my clothes and were touching me again. I did not want to have sex with them and they took times raping me. When they were done, I got dressed. I could not find my bra and they kept that as a trophy.
I went back upstairs, tried to find my resident advisor but she had went home for the weekend. I went downstairs and they called campus police. The campus police arrived and took me over to the University Hospital. The nurse performed a rape kit and called someone to come from Women helping Women. I did not want to talk to the woman and did not. The police took me back to the Residence Hall. I went up to the room and took a shower. Then I went to bed.
The following morning, I went to talk to a police officer. She told me that the two black men had every right to rape me because I was drinking underage. I just looked at her. Once I was done, I walked back to my Residence Hall and got into bed and slept for 16 hours. The following day I got up and I wanted to kill myself. I was being told that they had every right to rape me because I was drinking underage. How in the hell did that make what they did to me okay? I fell apart. I would try to eat but everything I ate got vomited back up. I could not concentrate on my school work. I was always looking over my shoulder.
I was raped by two black men. I did not ask to be raped and was being told that I deserved that by police officer. I have not and will not ever forget that woman’s police officers name that told me that. She defended the bastards that raped me. In January, I fell down the stairs going to class and broke both bones in my left ankle that required surgery. Know all of the trauma has gotten stuck there.
I went to University of Cincinnati to get a degree not to be raped and then told that two black men had every right to rape me. I ended up leaving the University and they never did anything two the two black men. I bet that my rape kit is sitting in some lab in Ohio and has never been tested.
Healing from Military Sexual Trauma and Post Traumatic Stress 